Preface: This is really jumbled and scattered and it has some really horribles things written about in it, but it is what I have been through today and these last 2 weeks. I and what I believe am a work in progress so please bare that in mind. I have not processed enough to have real thoughtful, coherent politically, theologically sound arguements, yet, but I will. I will!!!


Today was possibly the hardest of all the days I have been here and tomorrow I leave to come home. I am so glad! I don't think I want to see anymore. I can not believe the world inwhich we live in. I can not believe the things i saw today...these were not things that were done in the past but things that are happening right now. I strolled through informal settlements and townships today. These are largely black families that reside in these areas, mostly because the government during the "struggle" placed them here. Now families move to bare patches to ground in a city beside the highway and build their homes. These homes were worse than anything I have seen on ASP. And ASP has some true devastation. The homes were built out of cardboard, wood, tin, plastic tarps. In one of these rooms today while the cardboard roaf dripped above there was a small three month old baby sleeping on its bed sucking its thumb. There might be fifteen buckets outside for a community of thousands to use...the city empties these buckets 2 xs a week. I say rooms the size of my washroom with three beds for six persons to sleep in. People were selling their wares outside there homes and I could not bring myself to barter with them..."$4 for a wooden elephant...No problem". Then after eating lunch in downtown Cape Town where I sat infront of the most destitute, impoverished street woman I have seen we went to SHADE, a United Methodist ministry here for woman and children. There we met woman who have come to SA after fleeing the Congo. Hey told us there stories of why they fled. Then before we knew it they were flashing pictures of their stories on powerpoint. Pictures none of us were prepared to see, many of us wished we could have looked away. Pictures of soldiers with decapitated heads at their feet, happy to have slain the people. Pictures of children murdered while they slept. Pictures of woman being mutilated...female circumcision. Pictures of childen on the brink of death due to starvation. Let me tell you it is different seeing these for real versus on a movie or commercial asking for donations. These families took these pictures to help show others what is going on in the world.
One of the most interesting things we hav ALL experienced here in SA is how interested foreigners are in the US presidental elections. Everyone here wants to talk to us about our country, their preception of us and how they hope and need us to be a leader. I have been realized what an impact the US has on the world, but we do. And let me tell you, the perception right now is that we have squandered the power, reputation and ability we once had to speak out against injustice. People here are afraid of us in many ways. They are afraid we will do something to hurt them. They have said we are afraid the US will want our resources and come take them from us. They are afraid we will continue to turn a blind eye to things happening here, like the Congo. They are afraid the money we allocate for Africa will continue to not be able to make it to free health clinics here that pass out birth control, because in Africa the places that pass out birth control also offer abortions. Our politics the last 8 years has not allowed these agencies to receive funding because we don't want to give money to someplace that also offers abortions to women. So instead of providing measures to stop unwanted pregnancies we teach abstinence...in a country where violent acts against women such as rape are rampent. I am dumbfounded. I am angry. I am disgusted at how in such a amazing country as the USA we have somehow turned inward on ourselves and live in this bubble that doesn't want or let ourselves see the hurt and pain in the world. We live so isolated and don't even realize the ramifications of our actions and non actions in the world. Here they talk about how much food we consume and how Africans don't understand how we can order so much when we can never eat it all. We are wasteful they say, and they are right. They say we are consumers and they are right.
But they also believe we can change the world if we would but choose to. We can help empower the weak and seek to make heard the voice of the oppressed. We are only given power inorder to give it those who have none. I am ready to come home to hide from some of this again. I need a break from all I have seen. I need to see my healthy, beautiful children with their bright future. I need to walk in my safe neighborhood and not be asked for money or food when I step out my door. But I need not stay there too long. I need to bring these stories with me. I don't want to not know anymore. I don't want to be ignorant of the worlds sickness. I want to help shine light onto the places we need the grace of Christ most and see if God can still work some miracles.